I shouldn't be surprised since this is the first week that dilation would be a good thing. I am a little disappointed that Dr. Helmken pretty much guaranteed me that there will be no having of a baby this week. Let's back up, though.
I may as well start from the beginning.
When we arrived at the doctor's office, we were informed that we had an ultrasound scheduled. I dropped off my usual urine sample, and we headed for the ultrasound suite. While there, we discovered that Stella has a very large head - like her father - and she's currently weighing about 7lbs 1oz. We also got a 3D shot of the little piglet:
Clearly, she's quite a bit chubbier than she was in our last 3D ultrasound. She's got her father's head. She's currently in the 63rd percentile which is better than the 71st that she was in at 34 weeks. Dr. Helmken said that's much more average. I love her little pudgy chin :)
No dilation. I haven't really been having THAT many contractions. I have a couple daily, but nothing like I had been dealing with. It's so weird. I go from being told that I'll be lucky to make it to term, and now, we see absolutely nothing happening.
When Dr. Helmken came in the room, she immediately congratulated me on making it to full term, and she praised me for doing such a great job. While that's all well and good, I wanted to at least hear that I'm dilated or something. Nope. Sorry. Not this time. I even said, "So, no baby this week?" and she said, "No, probably not."
We left the doctor's office, and I sat in the car, crying. I'm so sick of people making comments about my belly, my size, and how absurdly pregnant I am. I'm sick of platitudes from people, stupid shit like, "Oh, she'll change your life. You'll just fall in love." Really, dumbass? You think I didn't think of that? Piss off. I'm sick of people staring at me if I go anywhere. I feel like I make people nervous, like I'm about to drop a baby on their shoes.
I was walking last week during my lunch, and a woman in a car yelled out at me and said, "Hey, how many months are you?" WTF? Leave me alone. I don't want to talk to you about how huge I am. Why does the lady at the grocery store need to know the name of my baby? She doesn't. I told Derek on Sunday as we were leaving Publix that I'm going to start telling people she's a boy and I'm naming her Ralphie after A Christmas Story, just for spite.
I guess some of my eagerness comes from the sheer prospect of not even making it to term. Like, I went from, "Holy crap, you almost went into labor too soon," to "Nothing is happening." It's kinda like a hurry up and wait sort of mindset, like the Army.
Anyway, I didn't mean to get off on a tangent. I'm just at my wits' end, and I'm ready for her to get here. I want her to come on her terms, but hear me out, Stella - your mother can't take any more ridicule, advice, or any other bullshit that comes her way. What's most important is that our little chubs is healthy, and we're both really excited for her to get here. She's coming soon, but maybe not as soon as my sanity requires.
Well, we'll keep this updated.
