Appointment Delay

I want to go ahead and give everyone a heads up that my doctor's appointment has been delayed.


They called me today, and apparently, Dr. Helmken has to do an emergency c-section tomorrow morning. My thought: how emergency can it be if she can predict that she'll have to do it? I thought "emergency" c-section meant that it happened during a labor already in progress... oh well. Semantics. Either way, we've been rescheduled for Wednesday at 10:15. 


Yes, I'm a little annoyed by it, but I realize they can't help it. I really wanted to go in tomorrow to see if I've made any progress at all. Oh well. It's just one day.


I thought I'd go ahead and share one last belly shot. At least, I hope this is the last one. I hope the next pictures you see of me are in a hospital gown and I'm holding our daughter.


Here you go:

Yes, I'm very large. 

I'm very uncomfortable, and my belly button here makes my belly look all pointy since it's sticking out. I'm very tired of being pregnant. The "fun" has worn off, and I'm just ready for Stella to arrive. My back and hips hurt, and I'm almost always uncomfortable in any position. 

I've been walking a lot, and I try and take the stairs at every opportunity. I keep saying, "Come out!" I don't think she's listening... 

On a positive note, I've been having contractions again. I hadn't really had any there for about a week and a half. 

On Saturday, we had our friends Kerry and Chris over and we were playing that amazing Michael Jackson Wii game - soo fun! - and I was hoping to get Stella moving with dancing around. Well, that night, I woke up to repeated contractions. I had 3 in a row, all seven minutes apart. I was excited, and then it all fizzled out into nothing. Since then, I've been having random contractions. On the way home, I had four contractions, about 10 minutes or so apart, and nothing came of it. Not yet anyway, but I don't expect anything to happen.

Now, I'm just cramping and feeling a lot of pressure. I really hope she'll make her appearance in the next couple days, at least this week. I'm tired of being kicked like crazy, and I'm tired of feeling like a walrus and being sweaty like a pig all day. I guess she'll come when she comes. 

We'll update everyone on the doctor's appointment on Wednesday, and I sincerely hope we don't make it to then. Although, I'm guessing we will. I'm already starting to just get bummed and expect for this to go on forever... and lead to an induction well after my due date. 

Sleep?

Here it is, 3:30 am, and I'm not asleep.


Lately, I've been having the hardest time actually sleeping through the night. For a long time, I thought that I was actually getting an abnormal amount of sleep to be as pregnant as I was, but now, I'm definitely not sleeping that well. I am typically awake from 2:30 or so until about 4:30 every night. 


If I don't wake up due to hip pain, I'm awake because I'm going to the bathroom over and over or I've had a terrible nightmare. Tonight, I had a terrible nightmare. In hindsight, it was so stupid - sharks were eating my feet - but still scary at the time. I was really tired when we went to bed, so I thought maybe tonight would be a good sleep night. Nope. There are also those nights - like last night - where Stella just beats the shit out of me all night. I think this child will be a soccer player... or will break one of my ribs before this all said and done.


In some ways, I wonder if this is how you get prepared for the bizarre schedule newborns create or maybe it's because my body is too amped up about having a baby to actually settle down. Either way, I'm very tired, and I'd love to get back to sleeping normally.


Sleep throughout this pregnancy has been difficult. I'm generally a decent sleeper - I have my sleepless nights here and there but who doesn't? - and I love to sleep on my stomach. I started training myself to sleep on my side from the moment I found I was pregnant, thinking I needed to be groomed into a side sleeper. 


I will never be a side sleeper. 


I hate sleeping on my side. Mostly, my ears go to sleep - pesky surgeries - and it does make my hips hurt. I'll do what I have to for now, but I don't like it. Yes, I'm very salty about it.


Some other symptoms I've been having lately include: terrible swelling in my legs, feet, and hands; nausea; moodiness (although, you try being this damned huge and tell me if you're not moody); joint pain and sore knuckles and wrists. I've also been noticing that I'm heading to the restroom so much more. I go to the bathroom at work, about to burst from needing to pee, and when I get there, barely anything comes out. I guess it's all the pressure. I've also had more cramping, and everyone I encounter says that she's extremely low. That's judging from the exterior. 


Maybe I'll get it together and take one last belly shot. 


I've been walking A LOT to get things moving. Yesterday, I went for a walk over lunch because I didn't have any grading, and Derek and I have been walking our dogs a lot on the trails by our house. I figure it's good to try and keep myself moving. I know it's supposed to start labor, but I think it also helps me feel better about myself and maybe it cuts down on the amount of late pregnancy fluff that I pick up. 


I'm definitely feeling fluffy lately, too. I guess it's all the water retention. I hear that comes off after delivery... I sure hope so. Oh, and this is pretty funny: I found out at work on Friday that the Registrar's office is taking bets on the day I'll go into labor. Every day that I show up, I pass their office and say, "I'm still here..." 


Anyway, I guess I'm going to go get something to drink and maybe play Animal Crossing. There are some pretty sweet bugs out early in the morning, and you can sell them to Tom Nook - local raccoon peddler - for a sweet amount of bells. Yeah, I'm a dork.


I'll end on this: I'm very excited that we're at this point and that she will be here any time. I'm so ready to finally get this started. This is definitely the biggest and most important thing that has happened in our lives, and without getting all sappy (because you know I hate sappy and emotional), I'm ready to meet the cute, little chubs and start being a mother. I just hope it happens soon so we can get into our routine and get settled at home with her. I'm also very excited to see what she looks like, and I can't wait to see what her personality is going to be like. Either way, we'll keep this updated. 

Dr. Appt Update

Sorry, folks. No progress.


I shouldn't be surprised since this is the first week that dilation would be a good thing. I am a little disappointed that Dr. Helmken pretty much guaranteed me that there will be no having of a baby this week. Let's back up, though.


I may as well start from the beginning.


When we arrived at the doctor's office, we were informed that we had an ultrasound scheduled.  I dropped off my usual urine sample, and we headed for the ultrasound suite. While there, we discovered that Stella has a very large head - like her father - and she's currently weighing about 7lbs 1oz. We also got a 3D shot of the little piglet:

Clearly, she's quite a bit chubbier than she was in our last 3D ultrasound. She's got her father's head. She's currently in the 63rd percentile which is better than the 71st that she was in at 34 weeks. Dr. Helmken said that's much more average. I love her little pudgy chin :)

No dilation. I haven't really been having THAT many contractions. I have a couple daily, but nothing like I had been dealing with. It's so weird. I go from being told that I'll be lucky to make it to term, and now, we see absolutely nothing happening. 

When Dr. Helmken came in the room, she immediately congratulated me on making it to full term, and she praised me for doing such a great job. While that's all well and good, I wanted to at least hear that I'm dilated or something. Nope. Sorry. Not this time. I even said, "So, no baby this week?" and she said, "No, probably not." 

We left the doctor's office, and I sat in the car, crying. I'm so sick of people making comments about my belly, my size, and how absurdly pregnant I am. I'm sick of platitudes from people, stupid shit like, "Oh, she'll change your life. You'll just fall in love." Really, dumbass? You think I didn't think of that? Piss off. I'm sick of people staring at me if I go anywhere. I feel like I make people nervous, like I'm about to drop a baby on their shoes. 

I was walking last week during my lunch, and a woman in a car yelled out at me and said, "Hey, how many months are you?" WTF? Leave me alone. I don't want to talk to you about how huge I am. Why does the lady at the grocery store need to know the name of my baby? She doesn't. I told Derek on Sunday as we were leaving Publix that I'm going to start telling people she's a boy and I'm naming her Ralphie after A Christmas Story, just for spite.

I guess some of my eagerness comes from the sheer prospect of not even making it to term. Like, I went from, "Holy crap, you almost went into labor too soon," to "Nothing is happening." It's kinda like a hurry up and wait sort of mindset, like the Army. 

Anyway, I didn't mean to get off on a tangent. I'm just at my wits' end, and I'm ready for her to get here. I want her to come on her terms, but hear me out, Stella - your mother can't take any more ridicule, advice, or any other bullshit that comes her way. What's most important is that our little chubs is healthy, and we're both really excited for her to get here. She's coming soon, but maybe not as soon as my sanity requires. 

Well, we'll keep this updated. 

We did it!

I'm going to keep this posting short and simple since I'm sure I'll have a lot to say tomorrow after my appointment.


Yay! We did it! Stella is officially full-term and no longer in danger of being a labeled a premature baby. I was so worried we wouldn't make it to this point and I kept having these awful fears of the nurses and doctors rushing her off to the NICU. Now, she can come whenever she wants :) 


I know I had been joking with everyone saying I want her to come ASAP, and I do. I honestly do, but it's all for selfish reasons. I mostly want to see what she looks like and finally get this party started. I'm also pretty damn uncomfortable these days. My hands are swollen and useless, and my hips hurt constantly. I have random contractions and a ton of back pain. 


I know it's better for her to stay in until she's ready, so I'm willing to wait for her to come on her terms. Don't worry: I won't do anything stupid like go running or drink Castor Oil. :) I'll just be here, eagerly awaiting the big cues so we can get to the hospital. 


Anyway, yay for 37 weeks! 3 weeks ago, I was really worried that with the way Dr. Helmken was talking, we wouldn't make it here, so I'll just congratulate myself on taking excellent care of Stella and me and keeping her comfy! I'll celebrate with some oreo pie dessert that's waiting on me in our fridge. 


I'll post more tomorrow after my appointment. :D Oh, and that watermelon thing -- I believe it. She's SO heavy! 

What a f^%&*ng day...

Where in the hell do I begin...


Well, Derek and I were planning to leave for my doctor's appointment at 245 today. I went to get the car at 230, and I was in front of York Hall, waiting on Derek. It was around 250, and I decided to go in and see what the hold up was. Derek was rushing down the hall - he had been extremely busy all day - and we rushed out to the car. Finally - we're leaving!


Right.


I hurriedly back up and WACK! I backed into a student's car. Luckily, no one was hurt and it was all cosmetic damage. Our car took very little damage, just a few scratches. The student's car just had a small dent or two. Regardless, I was definitely going to be late for my appointment, and I called and let them know what happened. 


I, of course, was crying and spending the entire time calling myself a dumbass while the cop wrote up the report. Since it was on SCAD property, I didn't receive a citation - thank, God. I was so worked up that I was sobbing on the way to the doctor while Derek drove. 


We got there and waited a while, obviously. 


Finally, we were taken back at 430, and Beverly checked me. I'm measuring perfectly - right at 36 weeks. I haven't gained any weight, so still at +32 lbs. No dilation. Stella is very low, so she's in the shoot, ready to go. Beverly also wants to consult with Dr. Helmken about possibly doing another ultrasound next time because Stella was measuring rather large for her dates. She's in the 71st percentile for weight, so Beverly was a little worried she's going to be a mega-baby that may not come out by traditional means. She said the only way to know is to do another ultrasound. 


Either way, all's well that ends well... sort of ends well, anyway. Our bumper is still effed, but I'm doing well and so is Stella. Derek may be a little worse for the wear since I've been very emotional and repeatedly apologizing all evening for being such a damned moron.


After the appointment, we decided we needed to be waited on. We grabbed some quick dinner at a nearby Chili's, and Derek drank two much needed beers. We even joked about stopping at a liquor store because of the absurdity of the entire day - we didn't, though.


I'll update again soon. Hopefully, we can repair our bumper and the damage to the poor chap's car won't be too expensive. All I can say is: FML. 


heh.

Work Baby Shower and Our Baptism Class

I'll start off with my work baby shower:


Wow! I have some awesome coworkers! Our work baby shower was on Friday, and we really received some amazing stuff. I got some of the cutest clothes ever - mostly things I had been considering buying anyway! They know my style perfectly :) I got this adorable dress from Megan, and it's orange and pink with a big orange bow - so cute! She also gave us some more adorable every day outfits, too.  Liza bought a dress for Stella from Gap that I had been oogling for weeks - it's pink with layers of silky material and it's all puffy - so stinking cute! I got a Boppy from Julia (and Jennifer, but I'm returning one), and my amazing friends Kerry, Ally, and Amy bought us our diaper sprayer, another cloth diaper, some wipes, and some diaper cream. Cheryl bought us our adorable pink bath tub, and we got some awesome toys from Lena, Alexis, and Ann. We got some awesome books - I love working with educators! - a Bible for Stella, and some super cute stuffed animals. Jennifer also got us some cute sleepers along with the Boppy, so we have plenty of clothes now! 


Christine gave us an adorable blanket with Stella's name embroidered on it, and it matches her room SO perfectly. It's a soft pink color with brown stripes - I love it! Derek's co-worker Henry and his wife bought us some adorable sleepers that have the cutest feet on them! Ann provided the cake which was SO delicious. I love Publix cake! Cheryl made some awesome decorations, and I hope I can steal some pictures from Kerry so I can share how stinking cute they made everything :D Oh, and I can't forget my delicious lunch from J. Christopher's - even though the waitress was an idiot. :) 


Here's the big ticket item from the shower - Derek's office teamed up and bought us a glider and ottoman! I was so freaking stoked! Here are some pictures from after Derek put it together Friday night:

Thankfully, it was easy for Derek to put together. It's SUPER comfy, and Derek keeps catching me sitting in it...

Derek came in the nursery yesterday and caught me half asleep while he was trying to get some other chores finished up. And that's the Boppy that Julia got for us! I love the cover we picked out for it - it matches the nursery perfectly! And Marsha, my coworker, wasn't kidding when she said you can use them for yourself :D 

Now yesterday, he was installing the diaper sprayer on our guest bath toilet - it's closest to the nursery - and we had a bit of a hiccup. He was getting sprayed by water coming out of the pipeline, and we have to go to Home Depot today to get some supplies for him to fix it. We really needed this particular item since it's how you keep the funk out of your washer -- if you get my drift. It'll be so worth the work... I say this as I'm not the one installing it. 

We really received some great stuff, and we're so thankful for everything! It was all perfect! :D

On to the Baptism class....

Derek and I were both sort of moaning and groaning about going to this in the first place, but it ended up being a really good class. The leader was named Jack Rabbit - that was his for real name - and he was a total chill bro. He and his wife led it, and it was pretty much us along with other Catholic couples just sitting in a circle and hearing advice from the Rabbits on how to raise our children Catholic. It was supposed to last for two hours, but ended up only being one. We also got all of the paperwork we need to get the Baptism set up, so it was good. I ended up really enjoying it. 

Anyway, I've been feeling strangely good the past couple days, and I attribute it to the rest. Work has been really chill for me, and I haven't been walking back and forth a lot. I do think toward the end of next week, I'll start walking to work again since I'll be 37 weeks. Regardless, I feel pretty well! 

Lately, my hands have been killing me. It's so hard to do anything with my sore fingers. I also have a hard time moving around in bed, and I have to roll from side to side in stages. I've been sleeping pretty well, aside from waking up every couple hours to flip. I'm insanely hot all the time, and I am still a little crampy. I think it's just that we're gearing up down there for the big day. From the way I feel, I don't suspect it will be any time soon. I'm glad of that because Dr. Helmken is out all week, and I'd like to try and make it to Monday when I'm 37 weeks so we don't have a "premie" on our hands, too. The last thing I want is for Stella to be swept off to the NICU, so she can just stay in there this week :)

Overall, things are good! We have everything we need now, and Derek installed our car seat - finally! Our bags are packed, too, so we're ready to go if we need to be. I have an appointment with the nurse practitioner tomorrow since Dr. Helmken is out, and I'll post more updates from that. 

Maternity Photos

Yay! Liza gave me our disk of our maternity photos today! I'm so excited. There were a lot on the disk, but we thought we'd share our favorites. In my best Chinese take-out voice, "Enyoy!" :)

We really like this one 

and this one

we really love this one, too. among the first three, we're trying to decide our absolute favorite :) 

Derek and his girl 

I had said no bare belly shots, but Liza talked me into a couple

 And of course one with the pups! 

35 Weeks

Derek and I went to my 35 weeks appointment today, and everything seemed to be alright.


We waited for a while, and then I finally went back for my usual urine sample. The nurse asked me if I was having contractions, and I said yes. She weighed me - I lost a pound, so I'm now at +32 lbs - and my blood pressure was fine. Since I had contractions, I was hooked up to the ol' cardiotocograph. Derek was in the room with me while I sat there. He seemed to think it was hilarious to make me laugh by busting out stupid dance moves to Stella's heartbeat. He also decided to snap a quick picture of me in the process:

Luckily, I only had 1 for real contraction while I was there. Stella was sleeping for most of the monitoring process, so she had no movement and her heart rate was relatively stable. They like to see a lot of variability in the baby's heart rate, so Dr. Helmken gave her a vigorous shake. She woke up, and they monitored about 20 minutes of good heart rate variation. 

Then, my cervix was checked, and I am not dilated. I told Dr. Helmken that I don't like the Procardia, and she said that's common. Apparently, it drops your blood pressure, so that's probably why it made me feel like shit. She said as long as I'm resting, then I'm good. She said she'd like to see me make it through these next two weeks, and she said, "If you make it to 37 weeks, then you can start being active again and exercise."

Now, this was just shortly after Derek and I were taking bets on when Stella will arrive. I said I think she'll come on Maggie's birthday - March 18. He said April 5. I told him then he was crazy since Dr. Helmken just told us last week that I'm not making it to April. Derek thinks it's a mental thing, and he's always trying to psych me up to last until my due date. 

In other, related news, I went to work today, and that was good. Derek dropped me off and picked me up. I took the elevator - even though I felt like a total weenis - and I limited the number of trips I made down our long hallway toward the bathroom and kitchen. My office really is being amazing about it, and they're even going to just send students to my desk rather than having me greet them up front. I was really happy about that. 

On the way home, I had another for real contraction. I'm having those annoying-ass Braxton-Hicks contractions all the time, but the for real ones totally arrest my attention. Either way, we're at 35 weeks now, and we don't have much longer to go. I mostly want to make it through this week, for my work shower and then our Baptism class on Saturday. You're welcome to place your own bet on when she'll come. I'm sticking with March 18. :) 

I officially HATE Procardia

After the crazy events of Thursday, I spent yesterday at home, laying in bed. Today, I'm not doing much better. Just walking around causes contractions, and when I do walk, I walk very, very slowly. Every six hours, I take Procardia, and I cannot even tell you how much I hate that stuff.


While the contractions are uncomfortable, the Procardia just makes me sick - BLECK. 


On the outside of the bottle, it says, "Do not take this medication while consuming grapefruit or grapefruit products." Okay, red flag there  - wtf is that about? Also, it warns that it makes you dizzy. About the best thing I can compare it to is being lightly drunk, and it causes HORRIBLE headaches. I mean, nearly migraine quality. It also seems to make me slightly nauseous. To boot: I was laying in bed last night, watching television with Derek and all of a sudden, I had a crazy nosebleed. Apparently, this stuff loosens up your blood vessels or something. I just can't stand it... 


I'm not sleeping very well, and I'm often up a lot at night. I think it might be that my body isn't "at ease," or maybe it's just that I'm so buzzed off this Procardia stuff that my head is all wacky. Either way, I miss sleeping well.


Today, Derek is doing a bunch of chores, and I'm pretty much sitting on my butt, not doing anything. It's so frustrating to feel this helpless. I started crying this morning because I hate not doing anything. I'm an active person, and I've always prided myself on being capable of doing just about anything Derek can do. Normally, I'd be doing just as much hard work as him. Now, I'm just a helpless vegetable with my giant belly, moaning and groaning just to make it to the bathroom. 


Strangely, I can tell that Stella is moving much less than she was. It's like everything happened really quickly. She went from jazzercising on my rib cage to wiggling around every so often. I especially notice that when I'm having contractions, she doesn't do anything. As long as the contractions are away, she is at least wiggling and letting me know she's alright. 


In an effort to be better prepared, I went ahead and packed our hospital bag, and I got out our car seat and base. We're going to install those this weekend. I don't want to go into labor and not be ready to go. 


I'm still planning to go to work on Monday, and I'm so thankful that my boss has limited the number of students I'm seeing. Typically, we try to have about 12 or so appointments a day, and she cut mine to half of that. She also told me that I don't have to worry about teaching FYE anymore this quarter. We only have 2 classes left, so my co-teacher, Ally, is going to pick up the rest. I feel bad, but I know Ally will be fine without me. She's a pro. 


I honestly keep worrying that I won't make it to next weekend. When I told Derek that, he said, "You better make it past next weekend." I know he means well, but it's really hard. I feel like I'm failing or like I've screwed this up somehow. I tried to stay really active, but that was more so I wouldn't gain too much weight. I swear, I was trying to do what's right. I didn't want to cause a bunch of chaos. :(


Anyway, I'm hoping I'll at least make it past my work shower on Friday and our baptism class on Saturday. I guess I'll go back to being a vegetable now. *Sad Charlie Brown music* :( 

Contractions?!

I know... at 34 weeks? Contractions?! Are you serious? I guess it's best if I start from the beginning.


Yesterday was a pretty standard day. Derek and I went to work, and I felt fine. I saw some students, walked to work, did my thing - right? On the way home, I was driving, and all of a sudden, I had some terrible pains. Then, I immediately realized that I was having contractions, back to back. Derek asked if I was okay, and I said I thought so but wasn't sure. I thought they were just the ol' Braxton-Hicks contractions. When we made it home, I came into our bedroom, fully clothed, and laid on our bed for about 30 minutes, crying because I was in pain. Now, what do I mean by pain: horrible menstrual-type cramps and what feels like a bowling ball is trying to squeeze its way out of me. I was also having some heinous back pain.


It finally lightened up, at least to the point that I could eat dinner. I laid around, and we watched a movie since that's not physically taxing - Get Low is an awesome movie by the way. Love Bill Murray. Anyway, I went to bed, and when I got up, I didn't feel very well but well enough to go to work. As I was walking into work, it hit me again, and then, as I was walking up the stairs to our office, it just became too much. I decided to call the doctor. 


I called, and even though they said their business hours are 830-5 and it was 845, no one answered. I called my mom to be sure I wasn't being a putz, and she told me to call right away. I figured a woman who has had two children would know what to do. I called back at 9, and I spoke to a nurse. She said come in immediately. 


I called Derek, but he had our car, off doing something work-related somewhere else on campus. He said he'd hurry and get the car back, and I waited until about 930 for him to show up. He wanted to come with me, but I figured they'd tell me I'm dehydrated again or maybe I'm constipated (gross, I know) and I told him not to worry about it. I even told my boss, Megan, that I'd probably be back in the afternoon.


When I got to the doctor's office, they took me back and checked me as usual. Then, the nurse came in and was like, "You brought someone with you, right?" I was like, "Uh, no." She was like, "Oh my gosh. You need to bring someone with you from now on." I was like, "Well, my husband wanted to come but I told him not to worry about it." I was definitely getting scolded. 


Dr. Helmken came in and verified that I am not dilated - phew - but HOW FREAKING PAINFUL WAS THAT. I cannot even tell you. I literally started crying. I think it was so bad because of the already insanely intense pressure I felt. She hooked me up to the fancy contraction machine again, and lo and behold, I was having some crazy contractions. 


I then had an ultrasound - and here's the best news - Stella is now head down! Yes, finally! Big sigh of relief... They estimate her weight at 6lbs 3oz right now, and my cervical length is on the short side. Dr. Helmken said it's not horrible but not great either. I called Derek after Dr. Helmken told me I'd be spending the afternoon in labor and delivery, and his boss, Michele, drove him to the hospital. I was so relieved once he was there. 


Dr. Helmken said that if I hadn't come in that I very well may have gone into labor, for real. She sent me over to labor and delivery where they hooked me up again and gave me Procardia and an IV. We were there for about 2 hours, and finally, they sent me home because I only had a couple contractions while there. I now have to take Procardia every six hours until 36 weeks. Oh, and just for explanation's sake: Procardia is a medication that stops contractions. 


I was told not to return to work tomorrow, and unless I can keep my moving around to a minimum, I shouldn't go back to work at all. Here's our game plan: I'm going to go back to work on Monday, but Derek is going to drop me off and pick me up every day. I'm planning to talk to my supervisor about how we can make sure I'm not overdoing it in the office, too. My office is AMAZING about helping out with stuff like this, so I know they'll have some good ideas for me. 


So here we are! Dr. Helmken said she sincerely doubts I will make it to April, and the ultrasound tech was saying I'll probably have a baby in a couple weeks. Personally, I think she'll be born on either St. Pat's or Ides of March, or maybe even Maggie's birthday - March 18. I'd like to see her make it to the end of the month, but with the way I felt, we'll see. I know Derek really wants her to make it into April, and so would I. I think I'm just a little more realistic about it. 


I know I'm always saying that I wish this was over already, but in all honesty, I want Stella to stay in until she's term. I don't want her to get here too soon and have problems. I want her to be healthy, and if that means having hip pain, back pain, and feeling enormous for a little longer, then that's what I'll do. 


I'll keep everyone updated. For now, I'm going to rest on our bed and watch bad daytime television.